Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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