It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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