I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
