i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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