I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
