i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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