I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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