I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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