I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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