you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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