If i come over, it means nothing
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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