I hate your face
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
never play flip cup with pint glasses
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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