I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
