I hate all girls vehemently.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
