Sponge bath it is.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
