Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
