I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
