Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you made out with another girl for some wings
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies