nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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