I wanna passion pit in your ass
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
are you so shy because you have an std?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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