Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
its not stalking. its research.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
