But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Drunk walkin through police station. America
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
