thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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