The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
