It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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