I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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