Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
