This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
