I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I want her autograph on my taint
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
