I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
