She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You may now shotgun with the bride
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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