And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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