So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
