We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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