There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
