Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
