Your face is a jimmy john
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
