Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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