summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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