you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
