And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
