i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
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