We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
