HIV tests are more positive than that guy
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Are we still banned from the library?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
