Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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