It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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