Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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