i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
high people should be assigned attendants
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
