just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
