Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
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