he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
