would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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