the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
