He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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