you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My ass is underappreciated
I have already put on my inside pants.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
