He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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