It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
